New Mercies: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes, Part 2
3 For everything there is an appointed time. There is an appropriate time for every activity under heaven: 2a time to give birth and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot plants, 3a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, 4a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, 5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones, a time to embrace and a time not to embrace, 6a time to search and a time to stop searching, a time to keep and a time to throw away, 7a time to rip and a time to sew, a time to be silent and a time to speak, 8a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ecc 3:1-8)
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (Ec 3:8)
1. You will ____________________ different _______________ in your life.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He saves those whose spirits have been crushed. (Ps 34:18) Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is everyone who takes refuge in him. (Ps 34:8)
2. In the _______________ of life don't let your _________________ control you, instead let God's _____________ control your _________________.
I praise you [Lord] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Ps 139:14b)
Rick Lowen "Our emotions are a gift to value and embrace, understand and utilize, a gift for you to manage rather than something to be ignored, suppressed, or discarded."
Step 1 - Identify You need to first _________________ the emotion you are feeling and then _________________ the "issue/reason" for it.
Ask yourself these questions:
a. What is (or are) the _____________________ that you are ______________?
b. What is the ___________ or _________________________ that happened that is causing you to have that emotion?
Step 2 - Validate What does this mean?
a. The first part of the validation step is to validate that the emotion you are feeling because it is _________ for you and it's _____ to feel.
b. The second part is to validate if what you are feeling is something you _____________ be feeling - is this a ___________ emotion.
Ask yourself these questions:
a. While I know the emotion is real, should I be _______________ it based on that ________________________?
b. If the answer is no, what _______ might I be believing, or _________ do I have that is deceiving me?
Step 3 - Align What does this mean?
a. Once you identify and validate the emotion, then you can ___________ it with the ___________ of God's Word. Remember Jesus said, "... the truth will set you free" (Jn 8:32).
Ask yourself this question:
a. What Bible passage can I use to help me _________________________ address that ______________ I am feeling?
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, the people who are God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. (1 Pe 2:9)
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Mt 6:33)
5b The Lord is near. 6 Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Php 4:5b–7)
Timothy Keller, "Lord, so many of my problems stem from not remembering you. I forget your wisdom and so I worry. I forget your grace and so I get complacent. I forget your mercy and so I get resentful of others. Help me remember who you are every moment of the day. Amen."
3. God is _________ you in ___________ season.
I will never leave you, and I will never forsake you. (He 13:5b)
For God so loved the world that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (Jn 3:16)
3 Or do you not know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him by this baptism into his death, so that just as he was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too would also walk in a new life" (Ro 6:3-4)
Now if we are children, we are also heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, since we suffer with him, so that we may also be glorified with him. (Ro 8:17)
Homework: Romans 12
Idols Inventory
Uncover your potential "idols" by taking this assessment. After reading the definition, consider each one of the things listed below in light of the "it might be an idol if…" examples and according to your gut, not your head answer by checking either yes, no, or possibly.
Definition: An idol can be anything or person (even good things) that we might value more highly than we should, and it becomes more important than God. It might be an idol …
- if your thoughts and time are consumed by it.
- if you are willing to do anything to get it even at the expense of others.
- if you believe it will give you things that only God can give (peace, joy, etc.).
- if you believe having it will give your life purpose, meaning and value.
- if you were to lose it you would despair.
- Job
Yes No Possibly - Money
Yes No Possibly - Possessions (new car, bigger home, more toys)
Yes No Possibly - Spouse
Yes No Possibly - Health
Yes No Possibly - Looks/Image
Yes No Possibly - Food
Yes No Possibly - Alcohol
Yes No Possibly - Friends
Yes No Possibly - Kids
Yes No Possibly - Approval of others
Yes No Possibly - Technology & social media
Yes No Possibly
The Truth About the Lies People Believe
Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:31-32). The truth is that beliefs that go through our mind each day are more important than the events and circumstances we will face. When we use the Bible as the filter the process these events through, we will be better equipped to manage those emotions when they happen and live by the Holy Spirit because God’s truths will set you free. The following is adapted and taken from The Lies We Believe, by Dr. Chris Thurman.
1. It's not ok to be human and make mistakes (I must be perfect). Why we buy the lie: Pride, we have unattainable and unrealistic expectations.
Psychological Truth: "To err is human…Everyone makes mistakes."
1 John 1:8 — If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
Philippians 3:12 — Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus also took hold of me.
2. My worth is determined by my performance. Why we buy the lie: Messiah complex, performance gets rewarded in our culture.
Psychological Truth: Worth is something everyone has because of who made them not what they do.
Psalm 139:13–14 — 13 For you created my inner organs. You wove me together in my mother's womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and my soul knows that very well.
3. I must have everyone’s love and approval. Why we buy the lie: We want people to like us, we don’t handle criticism well.
Psychological Truth: "You can’t please everyone all the time."
Galatians 1:10 — Am I now seeking the favor of people or of God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to gain the approval of people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
4. It's easier to avoid my problems rather than to face them. Why we buy the lie: We don't like conflict, it's easier to avoid our problems and hope they disappear.
Psychological Truth: Unresolved problems usually get worse and often times make things worse.
Matthew 18:15 — If your brother sins against you, go and show him his sin just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother.
5. I can't be happy unless things go my way. Why we buy the lie: External circumstances are more important than internal peace, my way mindset.
Psychological Truth: In reality sometimes (oftentimes) things don't go the way we want them to.
Philippians 4:11–13 — 11 I am not saying this because I lack anything; in fact, I have learned to be content in any circumstances in which I find myself. 12 I know what it is to live in humble circumstances, and I know what it is to have more than enough. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, while being full or hungry, while having plenty or not enough. 13 I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
6. My unhappiness is someone else's fault. Why we buy the lie: We like to shift the blame and project our issues, we lack at personal confession.
Psychological Truth: Choices = Consequences, Hurt people —> Hurt people
Proverbs 4:23 — Above all else, guard your heart carefully, because your life flows from it.
Proverbs 23:17 — Do not allow your heart to envy sinners. Instead, always fear the Lord.
Romans 2:1 — Therefore, you are without excuse, every one of you who judges someone else, because by judging the other person you also condemn yourself, since you, who are judging, are doing the very same things.
7. People can meet all of my emotional needs. Why we buy the lie: Our human nature makes us want to depend on others rather than God.
Psychological Truth: No one person can meet all your needs - relational, physical, and spiritual.
Philippians 4:19 — And my God will fully supply your every need, according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
8. People should accept me just the way I am. Why we buy the lie: Change is painful, and we don't like pain or change.
Psychological Truth: Relationships require on-going change (what needs to vs. what can't).
Romans 12:2 — Also, do not continue to conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you test and approve what is the will of God—what is good, pleasing, and perfect.
9. People who hurt me have to earn my forgiveness. Why we buy the lie: Bitterness and resentment feel better and are easier, "a price has to be paid."
Psychological Truth: Bitterness and resentment are emotional and spiritual poison.
Colossians 3:13 — Bear with one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against anyone else. Forgive, just as Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32 — Instead, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us.
10. Other people are more messed up than me. Why we buy the lie: Nobody likes to own their own stuff.
Psychological Truth: "It takes 2 to tango."
Romans 12:3 — So by the grace given to me, I tell everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought, but think in a way that results in sound judgment, as God distributed a measure of faith to each of you.
Matthew 20:26–28 — 26 It will not be that way among you. Instead whoever wants to become great among you will be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you will be your slave—28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
11. You can have it all. Why we buy the lie: We lack contentment, we want what we don't have.
Psychological Truth: No person has ever had it all, "Every yes means a no to some other good thing."
1 Timothy 6:6–8 — 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we certainly cannot take anything out. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be satisfied.
12. You shouldn't have to wait for what you want. Why we buy the lie: We want to do what feels good, we live in an instant gratification world.
Psychological Truth: Delayed gratification and waiting for healthy pleasure down the road is a lost art.
Proverbs 16:32 — Better to be patient than to be a hero, better to control your temper than to capture a city.
Ephesians 1:10–11 — 10 This was to be carried out when the time had fully come, in order to bring all things together in Christ, things in heaven and things on earth. 11 In him we have also obtained an inheritance, because we were predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in keeping with the purpose of his will.
13. Life should be easy. Why we buy the lie: If something is hard and painful it must be wrong.
Psychological Truth: Life is difficult.
John 16:33 — I have told you these things, so that you may have peace in me. In this world you are going to have trouble. But be courageous! I have overcome the world.
14. Life should be fair. Why we buy the lie: In a perfect world it would, and our brain says it should, but because of sin it isn't.
Psychological Truth: Life isn't always fair.
Matthew 6:34 — So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
15. People are basically good. Why we buy the lie: We don’t like to confront our own issues or acknowledge original sin.
Psychological Truth: People are anything but good - history (and God) tell us this is the case.
Jeremiah 17:9 — The heart is more deceitful than anything. It is beyond cure. Who can understand it?
The Truth Will Set You Free - How to Combat The Lies We Believe
- Spend Time in God's Word
- Memorize key truths from God’s Word
- Be authentic with God, yourself, and others
- Be transparent with God, yourself, and others
- Be accountable to God, yourself, and others
- Live in grace, not guilt
- Work your spiritual growth plan
- Your physical health matters - eat well, work out regularly, take time off (rest)
